I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize