My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
