Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
