STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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