Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
