i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
