Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
