Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
