Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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