We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
