He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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