i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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