there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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