I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
