we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
