Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
