drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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