have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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