party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
