drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize