Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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