Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize