I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
