i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
