you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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