i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
