She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
