There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sarcasm needs its own font
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
