nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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