Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
