Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
