Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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