I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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