Just fell off a train. Bad.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize