Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
