some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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