Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
