Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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