Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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