i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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