Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize