We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
