Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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