so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
