That's when you crack a 10am beer
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The beer is more important than you right now.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
