is your mom at the bar?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
