we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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