There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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