I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
