i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
