The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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