i love accidental penises.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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