Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
