Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You can't motorboat a personality
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
