haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
