Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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