I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
