is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize