Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
