i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
